How do I ask questions? What do I ask?

So part of the problem is actually setting the groundwork with consultants. You can’t just meet them for one day and then ask them straight away for projects and advice. The best way to do this is to spend time with them and ask meaningful questions to show your interest.

When to ask questions

First of all, something that’s very simple but often gets overlooked is simply asking when they like to be asked questions.

For example, in surgical specialties, some surgeons might be open to being asked questions whilst operating, while others might only take questions when they’re ready. You definitely don’t want to annoy them whilst they’re trying to concentrate. Equally, you don’t want to bombard them with questions — it’s a balance between showing your interest and coming off too strong.

What to ask

The next thing to consider is what to ask. You actually want to ask different questions than people normally would, such as:

• “Why did you do xyz?”
• “What sparked your interest to pursue research?”
• “What drove you to pursue private practice?”

We often feel hesitant to ask these types of questions, but remember — they are humans. Asking in this way often makes them open up more and give personal answers, ultimately helping you forge a better relationship with them.

Consultant egos

Another thing to keep in mind is how consultants fit into the ego stereotype.

In my own experience, I’ve seen all sorts — some consultants really make a concerted effort to remind everyone that they are superior, while others are very chill, to the extent that they allow you to use their first name. You need to recognise this and then adapt to it. If they have ego, glaze them every so often. This will pay dividends down the line!

The big question

After a suitable amount of time, you’d start thinking about asking them for potential mentorship. And this is often the scariest thing to do.

💡 Top tip: Don’t ask them right at the end of your time with them — ask a week or two before it ends.

We often think of consultants as magical beings who hover between wards and seem to know everything. There is some truth to this 😂, but what we forget is that they are human. I learnt that you have to engage with them differently at the beginning — as if you’re talking to a friend.

Picture this: you’re at a social function and you meet someone new. You really resonate with them and would like to stay in contact. What would you do? You’d probably ask them for their number or Instagram, right?

Here’s one thing we often miss though — how they leave the conversation. People can sometimes be ambiguous:

• “Good meeting you” → polite, non-committal.
• “Look forward to meeting you again” → a sign they are receptive.

These social cues carry over to engaging with consultants. Remember — they are human, so treat them as such.

When there’s 1–2 weeks left of your time with them, you could say something like:

“I learnt so much from you these past few weeks, would it be inappropriate for us to stay in touch? Occasionally I might WhatsApp you, or do you prefer email?”

Handling the response

Different things might happen:

• Ideally, they’d be very open to this and let you contact them whenever.
• They might say, “I don’t give my number out to students.”
• Or the worst case, they flat out reject this and say they don’t want to stay in contact.

If this does happen, it’s not that deep. Genuinely. They say rejection is re-direction, and it genuinely is. Ask if they know anyone else who may be willing to advise you, or at the very least, try building a connection with a different consultant.

Besides, if life were only highs, they’d stop feeling like highs at all. As 50 Cent put it:

“Sunny days wouldn’t be special if it wasn’t for rain.”

Regardless of their response, thank them for their time and support nonetheless — it doesn’t cost anything to be kind!

Confidence and humility

I’ll end with a bit of general advice on networking. Confidence is key when it comes to networking with anyone. It can definitely seem daunting — I personally struggled to muster up the courage to even ask questions in school! But it is genuinely un-deep.

All you need to do is:

1. Think of something to say.
2. Open your mouth.
3. Say it.

When you break it down this way, it doesn’t seem so inaccessible, does it?

If you struggle, just practice talking to people:

• The lady behind you in the queue at the bank.
• The man at the petrol station.
• Even the person experiencing homelessness you see on your commute.

Once you get past the mental barrier and build confidence this way, networking will become easy.

Dr Masood’s advice

One thing that Dr Masood helped me realise is that you must understand yourself through this whole process.

There are countless examples of medics and dentists who seem snobbish, looking down on people studying other courses at different universities. But you must never inflate your ego — that will cost you in how you approach networking.

Dr Masood gave some great advice: “Talk to everyone and everyone.”

It’s very easy to see yourself as better than, say, a porter, a cleaner, or a chef. But if you remove prejudices and arrogance, you’ll end up with a powerful network of people who can support you in many ways. You never know — that one connection could lead to something truly fruitful down the line.

Everyone has a powerful and unique story. It’s a shame that many simply cast people aside just based on their background.

Final reflection

Always remember: in the end, it’s not difficult to talk to people. No need to hesitate — just do it 🔥

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